Modern Dating Support for Women
You’re not too much. The system is too small.
You know what you want. You’ve done the work.
You’ve read the books, been to therapy, learned the vocabulary for everything that’s ever gone wrong. You can spot anxious attachment from the second text. You know your patterns. You’ve gotten honest about them.
And you’re still here. Tired. A little heartbroken. Wondering if wanting what you want is the problem.
It isn’t.
We took all the needs of the village and put them on one person.
Somewhere in the last few decades, women gained something unprecedented: real choice. Economic independence. Legal sovereignty. The ability to leave. The ability to want. The ability to say this isn’t enough and mean it.
That’s new. Shatteringly, disoriently new.
The romantic love marriage, the idea that one person should be your passion, your security, your best friend, your co-parent, your witness, your home, is barely 200 years old in Western culture. Before industrialization pulled people off land and out of villages and into isolated units, belonging was distributed. Survival was communal. Intimacy moved through a whole web of relationships, not a single pair.
We took all the needs of the village and put them on one person. Then we finally gave women the freedom to notice that it isn’t working. And then we told them the problem was who they’re picking.
Therapist and author Esther Perel has written about exactly this: how we’ve asked one relationship to carry everything a community used to hold. You’re not failing at dating. You’re feeling the edges of a structure that was never built for who you actually are.
You’re not imagining the shortage.
Getting older in a culture that treats a woman’s desirability as a depreciating asset. Watching the pool shift. Feeling the pressure from family, from timelines, from the biological reality of your body.
The exhaustion of being told to be more open, less picky, more patient, less intense.
The sociological reality of emotional unavailability in men isn’t your imagination. It’s the product of generations of conditioning. You’re not imagining the shortage of whole-hearted partners. That’s real. It’s structural. And it’s not your fault.
I’m not going to tell you why you’re picking wrong. I’m going to sit with you at the edge of that grief and ask what might be possible from there.
The bravest thing you can do is keep being honest about what you want.
What if love doesn’t have to look like what you were sold.
What if the structure itself needs to change, not your standards, not your openness, not your timeline.
Romantic partnership is one form of love. Not the destination. The needs you’ve been trying to get one person to meet, security, passion, intellectual aliveness, daily companionship, deep witness, community, belonging, were never meant to live in a single relationship.
What if you built a life where those needs were genuinely distributed. Where your village was real. Where romantic love had room to breathe because it wasn’t also trying to be everything else.
This isn’t giving up on love. It’s expanding what love gets to be.
One-on-one coaching that starts where you actually are.
Your patterns, without pathologizing them
Where you abandon yourself to keep someone comfortable. Where you over-function or under-ask. What you’ve been tolerating because the alternative felt like being alone. What you actually want versus what you’ve been told to want.
What your body already knows
We work somatically. The contraction when something’s wrong. The expansion when something’s right. Learning to trust that again after years of overriding it.
The scripts you were handed
We deconstruct what you’ve been told about timelines, about what partnership should look like, about what you’re allowed to need. And we build something that actually fits the life you’re living.
I’m integrated in LGBTQ+ community and work with women across the full spectrum of orientation, relationship structure, and what love means to them.
Let’s be specific.
This is for you if
- You’re dating and keep hitting the same wall
- You just got out of something that cost you more than it gave
- You’ve been single longer than you wanted and you’re not sure whether to keep trying or completely reframe what you’re trying for
- You’re done with advice that starts with what you’re doing wrong
- You want someone who will tell you the true thing, not the comfortable thing
This is not for you if
- You want help getting more matches
- You’re not ready to look at your own patterns
- You want to be told it’s all going to work out
Questions
Virtual sessions, one-on-one.
Weekly, biweekly, or intensive depending on what you need. Single sessions available for something specific you’re navigating right now. Packages for deeper ongoing work. Sliding scale available.
Book a free 20-minute consultation
You were never the problem.
You were just awake in a system built for sleeping.
Let’s figure out what’s possible from here.