FIELD GUIDES
The Field Guides library
Every guide and bundle in one place. Browse by what you’re navigating right now.
Relationships and connection
9 guides
Fused or Free? Understanding the Path to True Intimacy
A workbook on differentiation versus fusion in relationships that reframes codependency through a compassionate, contextual lens.
Moving Toward Us: A Goal-Setting Guide for Couples
Blends goal-setting, motivational interviewing, and values work for couples who want to grow together.
Relationship Check-In
Structured scripts for raising a need without triggering defensiveness, a weekly check-in format, and a nine-step guide to deep listening. Part of the Couples Connection Toolkit.
Non-Violent Communication Letter Template
A structured template (We want, I see, I think, I feel, I want, conclusion) for writing a hard letter to a partner.
STILL & STEADY: A Fear-First Guide to Hard Conversations
A two-part guide, internal STILL work and then STEADY conversation tools, grounded in EFT and polyvagal theory, for naming fear and setting boundaries before and during hard conversations.
Trust After a Breach
A decision framework for rebuilding trust after an attachment injury: it zooms out to the relationship as a whole, then to the specific decision, then to the everyday experiences that rebuild trust over time.
Rupture & Repair: A Trauma-Informed Conflict Guide for Couples
A workbook on the research behind repair (Gottman, Sue Johnson, Siegel, Real), plus real repair scripts by attachment style and a nervous-system-aware fight-recovery process.
The Jar Date Activity
For couples who want to bring novelty, play, and genuine presence back without making it feel like homework. Built on Esther Perel’s idea that desire needs aliveness, not grand gestures. Full curated list of date ideas across every format: stay-at-home, a few hours out, day trips, overnights, intimacy boosters.
Intentional Dating Toolkit
Questions, icebreaker games, and a signs-to-watch-for guide for building real connection while dating. Curiosity and play matter at every stage of a relationship, and long-term couples can use the same prompts as a way back into each other.
Family and parenting
4 guides
How Families Hold Their Shape
A family-systems guide to homeostasis, feedback loops, and the roles kids grow into (mascot, hero, scapegoat, and more): how they form and how they heal.
The CALMER Method
A 6-step parenting framework (Calm, Attune, Limit, Model, Empathize, Repair) for staying regulated through a child’s big emotions and meltdowns. Includes brain-state color-coded tables, an instead-of/try script swap, a consequences guide, and a needs chart.
Validate First
A two-step script, validate then support, for the ordinary big feelings and small meltdowns of a normal week. The everyday companion to the CALMER Method. Part of the Family Patterns & Parenting Bundle.
Safe, Seen, Soothed, Secure
A daily practice for building secure attachment: the four things a child needs to feel from you, and small, repeatable ways to offer them. Part of the Family Patterns & Parenting Bundle.
Self-understanding
5 guides
Growing Your Core Self
An expansive, embodied guide to Self-leadership, rooted in clinical frameworks and the indigenous and universal wisdom traditions that understood wholeness long before Western psychology had language for it. Some of what was stripped from us is recoverable. This is one way back.
IFS Practical Guide (Mini)
An approachable introduction to Internal Family Systems using the guest house metaphor, opening with Rumi’s poem: what Parts are and how to meet them.
IFS Self-Guided Handout: The 6Fs
A deeper, structured IFS practice: the 6Fs process for helping protective parts differentiate from the Self.
Attachment Inventory Workbook
A guided workbook for mapping where your attachment patterns came from, how they show up in your relationships now, and how to gently redraw them. Part of the Inner Work Starter Pack.
Self-Compassion Handout
Kristin Neff’s three elements of self-compassion, plus a guided self-compassion journaling practice.
Body and nervous system
7 guides
Be What You Need: A Somatic Awareness Guide
A comprehensive, body-based workbook on nervous-system states, felt sense, and self-regulation: zone-coded practice tables, guided somatic exercises throughout, and a full science-and-citations section at the back.
Vagus Nerve Exercises
38 nervous-system exercises organized into three plain-language, polyvagal-informed sections: Energy, Ease, and Connection. Part of the Nervous System Reset Bundle.
The Affinity Emotion Ladder
A visual field guide to where you are emotionally: a full-color three-zone (ventral, sympathetic, dorsal) emotion and intensity scale, paired with a step-by-step practice for climbing back down the ladder in the moment.
Why You Disconnect, and How to Come Back
The science of dissociation as protection, then a 7-step practical sequence for returning to presence.
Your Personal Regulation Plan
A warm, non-clinical regulation plan: early warning signs, a support map, and a stepped self-care plan.
Feeding the Nervous System
A nervous-system-informed nutrition guide, in the same practical spirit as the Anti-Inflammatory Guide. Part of the Regulation & Resilience Bundle.
Anti-Inflammatory Guide
Snack, meal, restaurant, and smoothie ideas built around an anti-inflammatory diet, with a brief evidence-based framing of inflammation’s links to physical and mental health.
Hard seasons
3 guides
When Love Has No Place to Go (Yet): A Holistic Grief Guide
A comprehensive grief guide walking through body, heart, community, and meaning-making after loss, including a dedicated section for traumatic loss.
Breakup Survival Guide
Support for getting through a breakup, one honest step at a time. Part of the Love, Loss & New Beginnings Bundle.
Loving Someone with Addiction
An IFS, EFT/attachment, and polyvagal-informed guide for partners: boundary templates by addiction type, a motivational-interviewing tool for supportive conversations, and a full crisis and resource guide.
Personal wellbeing and collective context
2 guides
The Wellness Wheel Workbook
A self-care check-in across all eight dimensions of wellness (physical, mental, emotional, social, environmental, financial, occupational, spiritual), with scoring and goal planning for each dimension.
Find Your Way to Contribution
A worksheet on finding a cause and a way to volunteer that fits your strengths, purpose, and schedule.
Bundles
Priced lower than buying the guides separately
Nervous System Reset Bundle
Be What You Need, the Affinity Emotion Ladder, Growing Your Core Self, Why You Disconnect, both IFS guides, and Vagus Nerve Exercises. The deepest, most complete somatic and parts-work library we offer in one bundle.
Inner Work Starter Pack
Growing Your Core Self, both IFS guides (the Practical Guide and the 6Fs), the Affinity Emotion Ladder, and the Attachment Inventory Workbook. A full entry point into parts work, attachment, and self-leadership.
Regulation & Resilience Bundle
The Wellness Wheel Workbook, the Affinity Emotion Ladder, Find Your Way to Contribution, Self-Compassion Handout, Your Personal Regulation Plan, and Feeding the Nervous System. For building a sturdier baseline, not just managing a crisis.
Family Patterns & Parenting Bundle
How Families Hold Their Shape, the CALMER Method, Validate First, and Safe, Seen, Soothed, Secure. For understanding the patterns you grew up in, the ones you’re building now, and the daily and in-the-moment scripts that build a secure one.
Couples Connection Toolkit
Fused or Free?, Moving Toward Us, the Non-Violent Communication Letter Template, and the Relationship Check-In. The starting set for a couple who wants to build better habits before things get hard.
Reconnect and Play Bundle
Rupture & Repair, the Jar Date Activity, and the Intentional Dating Toolkit. For couples who want their relationship to feel less like maintenance and more like a place they actually want to be.
Love, Loss & New Beginnings Bundle
When Love Has No Place to Go (Yet), the Intentional Dating Toolkit, and the Breakup Survival Guide. For the ending, the in-between, and whatever opens up next.
Couples Conflict & Repair Toolkit
STILL & STEADY, Trust After a Breach, and the Non-Violent Communication Letter Template, plus Universal Attachment Needs and Are We There for Each Other? included at no extra cost. For couples working through an active rupture, not just tuning things up.
Free guides
No purchase necessary
How to Find an Affordable Therapist
What to look for, what to ask, what red flags to notice. The real version, not a directory link.
How to Get Your Out-of-Network Benefits
Most people leave money on the table because nobody explains how this works. This does.
Universal Attachment Needs
What all humans need in relationship, why those needs often go unspoken, and how to begin naming them.
Not sure where to start? Be What You Need is where most people begin.
This content is educational and does not constitute therapy or a therapeutic relationship. If you are in crisis, please contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) or the Crisis Text Line (text HOME to 741741).